Journal Entry One
I’ve traveled alone across the planet plenty of times. And truthfully, I’ve learned to love it.
Even though I’ve only been traveling alone for 18 months, it feels like longer because I’ve grown so comfortable and have visited so many places. Yet there are still moments when I feel lonely.
I recently went to Cowboy School at the Triple Creek Ranch in Montana (a little off-brand for me, I know!). When I first got there, I noticed how many couples were around me. ‘Did I accidentally book a honeymoon destination?‘ I jokingly thought. I immediately felt self-conscious…everyone seemed to have someone, and I didn’t.
For a moment, I thought about just staying in my room for the night. I thought about throwing myself an entire pity party and locking myself up in my room for the entire week, actually. But then I reminded myself, just because I’m alone on this trip doesn’t mean I need to be lonely.
That single thought shifted everything.
Solo travel isn’t about filling silence with noise or rushing to make friends. It’s about learning to feel comfortable with silence and opening yourself to connection when it presents itself. If you are on the fence about booking a solo trip because you’re afraid of being lonely, know that I’ve been in your shoes, your feelings are valid, and we can overcome this fear together.
Here are a few things I’ve learned on my journey of traveling alone without feeling lonely.
How to Travel Alone Without Feeling Lonely
Start Conversations
I know, I know. I just said that you don’t have to rush to make friends. And, I certainly don’t think you ever need to force connections, but it can be helpful to start conversations.
I’ve traveled to some of the most beautiful places on earth, but do you know what’s always my favorite part? The people. The best way to experience a place is by talking to the people who call it home, or even those traveling just like you. You don’t need to travel with people to find your people; they might be what’s waiting for you on your journey itself.
As humans, it’s easy to gravitate toward talking about ourselves because that’s how we relate to others. But here’s my homework for you, reader: ask people about them. Stop, listen, and soak up their stories. You’ll often learn more about yourself through listening than through talking.
Recognize That Alone is Not Lonely
There are differences between these two terms, and while I won’t bore you with dictionary definitions, here’s the truth: they’re not the same thing.
Being alone means finding comfort in your own company. Listening to your thoughts, noticing the little details around you, and having the space to do that.
When we were out riding the trails at cowboy school, the couples on the trip were in almost constant conversation. Me, on the other hand? I got to focus on Brave’s (my horse, can we talk about how fitting his name was?) peaceful footsteps. How cool our shadow looked together with the sunrays shining down on us. The sound of a babbling brook in the distance. The chill of the fall air.
When you stop equating being alone with being lonely, solo travel becomes less about filling time or seeking company, and more about being present.
Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable
Starting something new is uncomfortable, no matter what it is. Especially when it’s out of your comfort zone. If you’re anything like me, it took time to find the courage to be alone. It was uncomfortable. It still is uncomfortable sometimes. But here’s what I tell myself: get out of your own head. People don’t care as much as you think they do. People aren’t judging you as harshly as you judge yourself. Everyone else is also caught up in their own thoughts, too. So lean into that discomfort.
Why? It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to feel unsure. It’s okay to have butterflies in your stomach. Because do you know what you’re missing out on if you don’t? A world of chances, opportunities, and people.
Going back to my experience at cowboy school, that first day, I couldn’t get grounded. I felt so off balance. But do you know what I did anyway? I put on a cute western outfit and forced myself to go to the Welcome Party to meet new people. And that made the rest of my trip so much easier because I took the time to feel uncomfortable to get comfortable.
Those moments of discomfort are exactly where growth lives. It doesn’t come from sticking to your same routine. It comes from pushing yourself.
Why Travel Solo?
Don’t get the idea in your head that solo traveling is only for the person who can’t find a friend with PTO to burn. Solo travel can be a choice, too. And sometimes, it’s the most liberating one you’ll ever make.
Even if you’ve been married for 30 years, even if your friend group chat is constantly planning trips, even if you’re fresh out of college and life already feels uncertain…challenge yourself to go solo.
Because here’s the thing, traveling alone gives you permission to do things at your own pace, to step out of your comfort zone to learn about the people and culture that started it all, and to discover the kind of stories you can only create when you’re the only one in charge of the itinerary.
Solo travel can be scary, but if you have a strong desire to see the world and truly embrace the experience, it might be exactly what you need to find yourself again.
Even if you’re starting small, let this be the push to try something just for yourself. Take yourself out on a date, go for a walk with your thoughts, or maybe even book that staycation you’ve been holding off on for a little taste of solo travel.
Because solo travel is when you stop asking, “Will everyone else be okay if I go?” and start asking, “Will I be okay if I don’t?” It’s where you learn to enjoy your own company, notice the world around you, and open yourself up to experiences you wouldn’t have if you were waiting for everyone else to get on board.
Now, it’s your turn. What is holding you back the most about solo traveling?
Love,
Jessica
